Penmort Castle (Ghosts and Reincarnation, #1) - Kristen Ashley I don’t know why I have to write long review for books with which I have issues!!!??? Strange, no? *wink*

I have several pet peeves: food, wine and fashion in novels.
Sometimes when I read about a dinner date at an Italian restaurant, I keep rolling my eyes and sighing continuously. Maybe because I live in Italy and know what is eaten in a restaurant here…

You just don’t drink a merlot with a sole-fish alla mugnaia!!! It is just not done!!!

You don’t eat garlic bread with pasta!!! And, besides, I wouldn’t eat garlic on a date, if you know what I mean!!!

Let’s talk about fashion… men’s fashion… *double sigh*



…the navy suit with the deep lilac, expertly-tailored shirt and expensive tie…

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He was wearing a pair of dark brown suit trousers, a dress shirt the colour of which was an attractive blend between dandelion yellow and burnt orange that had a subtle sheen,…

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…wearing a charcoal grey suit, a forest green shirt and a great tie which made her wonder (somewhat frantically but also not for the first time) if he just had good taste in clothing or if he had a personal shopper.

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…wearing one of his impeccably tailored suits, this one black with a shirt of deep grey and a fantastic black tie with a grey and red pattern on it.




Let’s talk now women’s fashion… slightly better bust still… *sigh*



She wore the antique dress with a pair of sheer, black stockings with a seam up the back and her own black velvet, high-heeled shoes that had a rounded, closed toe, bare sides and an intricately designed heel made of a multitude of slender, velvet bands leading up and into a delicate ankle strap.

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Abby wore a pair of red pumps with satin-covered, pencil-thin, four-inch heels, pointed toes covered
entirely with bugle beads and complicated, thin, beaded ankle straps.


I don’t get it… this obsession with heels…



It was vintage ‘40’s, made of aubergine, silk crepe. It had a bloused, boat-neck bodice that fell gracefully to a slim, body-hugging waist that had a three inch band of intricately-designed black beading. The straight skirt came to just below the knee and had a slit up the back. It had short, loose sleeves and an elegant drape that exposed Abby’s back to just above her bra strap.

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A soft fawn colour with a fitted skirt, the hem brushed her knees and it had slits up each side. One of the reasons she bought the suit was that the jacket fit like it was made for her, had a nipped-in waist and a succession of smart, intricate pleats falling from her waist at the back. She wore this with a shiny, cream satin blouse that she always unbuttoned just one button below professional, as she did today. She’d put on her mocha suede high-heeled boots, matching wide belt and you could see a hint of flesh-coloured fishnet stockings covering her knees between the top of the boots and the hem of the skirt.


Ok, ok, ok… IT’S SO NOT OK THAT IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!



I don’t know if you noticed but a huge number of words have been spend at describing dresses, shoes, boots, shirts and every other fashion accessory you can think of!!! It was waaaayyyyy to much!!!!
Besides the only impression I got from all this describing was that both of them have a really twisted fashion taste (I think a personal shopper will get a fit of giggles if he read this book)!!!

Closing the painful fashion issue, I have other problems with this book…



Abby… OMG, OMG, OMG!!!! I think that I would commit suicide if I were only slightly similar to her!!! She has only one redeeming quality: she’s not a bitch and she’s rather sweet. Otherwise she’s completely useless!!!! Yes, she knows how to cook too… but she has the brain power of a 3 years old!!! She’s obsessed with fashion and make up – for God’s sake she has titles for her make-ups: “Edgy Professional”, “Sophisticated Casual”, “Smoky Evening”, just to mention some of them!!!!
So, Abby is completely broke (but she has designer shoes, boots clothes, jewellery, make up, etc…) and she pretends to be high priced escort/w*hore in order to get money to restore her grandmother’s house.

How clever is that, uh?

Veeerrrryyyyy clever!!!

No?

Poor baby, she didn’t have any other option.

No?

I’ll stop here, or I’ll start yelling…



Let’s get on Cash...
He hadn’t asked to look like Hugh Hefner with five escorts dripping off his arms.; International Hot Guy Extraordinaire, Fabulously Rich and Famous … Cash… ehm…

Putting aside his hideous taste in clothes, he could have come as a hot guy, but… he just came out as a overbearing, arrogant, ass!!!

Let’s see some of his “performances”…



“I paid for you, Abby, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,”

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“Now, darling,” his voice rumbled roughly against her neck, “that was worth a diamond bracelet.”
Her body went still at his words but he didn’t notice, or worse, didn’t care.
He pulled away, exited the bed, leaned over and tugged her dress down. Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet at the side of the bed.
Her legs were shaky, not only from her climax but also her emotion. Her head tilted back to look at him and when her eyes caught his, his were still cold.
And that coldness froze the heat right out of her, chilling her to her core.
“Fix your hair,” he ordered. “I’ll meet you at the door.”


Ok, as I said, she’s not the smartest woman, but still… even a 3 years old deserve respect!

But, and there is a but, she’s perfect for him! She’s so air-brained that she compliments his arrogance and dominating behaviour. She’s his perfect sub, even if they’re not into kink!



Shall we talk about the ghost, Vivianna?

A woman, dark hair, beautiful, pale face, her long hair streaming as if caught in a fierce wind and her old-fashioned violet dress floating in tatters around her. Her expression was filled with blatant, frightening, evil hatred.



As you can see, not even the ghost can escape fashion!!! *gag*



Is her aim to make us afraid? Ohhhhh.. she’s soooo scary that my bloomers are trembling!!!

Ok, so not to drag this torment longer than necessary, let’s say that I didn’t like the book and finished it here!